9 years today.

I realized after my last post, that today is August 15. This is my ninth year full-time ministry. I only promised five years and somehow, here I still remain.

I remember jumping on board to being the best youth minister I could be… As a teen, I wanted to be better that… Jeff Walling. I read all the books, ordered all the best curriculum from Willow Creek and other mega church groups. I remember my first Bible study with a family who after hearing all the “right” answers, said, “thanks for sharing… we’ll think about it.” WHA?

I remember the group of teens I “adopted.” Teens anchored to church via activities and bribes. It was both fun and difficult. I entered this work in August with a remaining budget of $16 dollars and some change.

In the beginning teens didn’t like to sing. One student told me we sing to much and it would be nice if we could play more games. I remember Sunday morning Bible classes. Key word would be “BIBLE” and most of the teens not showing up with BIbles. I started giving away Bibles the church owned. Better in a kids hands than on a shelf six days a week. I thought it was important to bring Bibles to Bible study class. After visiting with one of my mentors, Big Don Williams, I had an idea… It was gentler than his. It was called the “Bible Policy” by many. I just thought is was something to get active Christian students to bring a Bible to Bible class.

Needless to say… Some left because of this idea of “forcing children to bring “Bibles to Bible class” and sending them to class with their parents if they didn’t. I have a 4 inch sealed envelope which contains many letters for and against my idea, including my response to the church leaders and families.

Dirt flew and all I could do was stand. I ask God why he made me come here? WHAT HAVE I DONE? I’LL NEVER LAST.

When the dirt settled I looked around and my enemy was gone. New families stepped up for the first time. From the ashes new birth began. The teens were no longer in charge.

I spent my time focusing on a mission statement, (which I cannot remember… I have had several over the years. However I think I will stick with the current mission statement… LOVE GOD, LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR) deciding what and where I would be going.

I continued to meet with the family I had first met with and a few short weeks later they gave their lives to Christ. Darren Coy is one of my closet friends today. I’ve never known a servant like Darren. He has so much to give and he gives more.

I also met a man named Steve Novak. He was a new Christian and not to involved… It was suggested to me I try to hook up with him and play golf. Golf? Could golf be a ministry? YES IT CAN. (although I suck at playing the game) Steve Novak and I would share a great journey. I will say that next to the “Bible Policy” thing, my journey with Steve has been a difficult journey.

I love Steve and I am so proud of him. It was hell to go through his divorce with him. I know most will still say, “it’s not your fault” and “you don’t really understand.” I don’t think anyone will understand the difficult time I went though watching my friend hurt like that. I am so glad to have watched him grow from that horrible battle and become stronger for the Lord.

After Steve’s drama, I thought I might not make it though the year. This wasn’t how ministry was suppose to go. I was hurt, I felt alone, I felt that I had failed.

It’s funny the lies youth ministers believe. 1) Numbers count… the bigger the group, the better the ministry. (or the youth minister) 2) I’m strong, I teach Bible class, I know this stuff, I don’t need to read the Bible for me… the Bible is me. 3) My relationship is great with my wife… I don’t need to be accountable… it will never happen to me. (in 9 years, nine youth ministers have broken their vow and have been unfaithful to their spouse. Several more have abandoned their ministry jobs for a way of life that run contrary to even a worldly moral belief… let alone a Christ follower) 4) I give so much time to the church, I’m tired, they ask so much of me and I can’t do everything. (Truth, many mismanage time, waiting until the last minute, bringing added stress and failure) I dare continue to write these lies. I only write what I know.

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